If we’re honest with ourselves, we all numb-out with something.

Addictions can be to a substance, pattern or process and in combinations. When you numb-out and take the edge off of vulnerability, pain, uncertainty, fear, disappointment and discomfort – you’re also dulling your joy, fulfillment, creativity and enthusiasm for life. You’re dimming the light and life inside you.


I began my coaching career specializing in the addiction field 10 years ago. I coached people with a myriad of addictions in high-end rehabilitation facilities. From my professional experience in coaching people in general, most of us, in the past myself included, have an addiction and obsession to thinking and to our emotions that accompany them.


My intention, in service to you, is to increase your awareness about addiction. Awareness leads to action – that’s if you choose to take it.

I certainly hope you do. For your own health and well-being and to increase the quality of your precious life.


  • How to be FREE from Addictions – Run, Run, Run!


Did I get your attention? Good, please pay particular attention to this.

Actually, this is what causes problems. From my years of professional experience, most people are taught to run, run, run from their feelings, “You are bad, should be ashamed, embarrassed and afraid of your feelings! Don’t cry!” Heard this before?


Not only do feelings make you a relatable human being, they are essential to living fully and experiencing all the nuances of life. Learn to validate your own feelings know they are real and natural.


  • Stop Running!


… Away from, and tenderly, with self-compassion courageously walk through your feelings. Your feelings can’t hurt you. What can hurt you is avoidance of them. All feelings are is energy. I don’t suggest dwelling in them at all, but it’s critical to identify and shine a light on them, feel and be with them, realize they will pass and then move on. My clients tell me they come alive by practicing this healthy approach.


Remember – FEAR= False Evidence Appearing Real. The monster under the bed isn’t real, when you shine a flashlight on it and take a closer look.


The secret of success is learning how to use pain and pleasure instead of having pain and pleasure use you. If you do that, you’re in control of your life. If you don’t, life controls you. * Tony Robbins


  • Why Do People Relapse from Addictions?


When I coached in rehab centers people spent $30K-70K for 28 days to break-free. After they were released, many consistently stayed in their inner-prisons and returned back to the facility when they relapsed.


I developed my Self-Mastery Programs for people (with and without addictions) because as a professional, I experienced many programs that simply were missing the mark for sustained transformation. Every step needs to build on the results of the previous step, like building blocks, building a solid, strong inner-foundation. Otherwise there’s no enthusiasm and you quit. How do I know that? I witnessed and spoke with countless people who were frustrated, hopeless and exhausted when they finally came to me and turned their lives around.


Why did does relapse happen? Most people don’t get to the unconscious root cause of the issue to resolve it once and for all. And if by chance they do, they don’t have the discipline and practices in place to stay there. They simply apply a band-aid on it for temporary healing without positive focus and success from the inside out.


If you keep identifying with yourself with the same old thoughts and to your destructive behaviors – you’ll stay stuck. You need to know, experience and see yourself in a new light from a fresh, higher perspective.


Most people want a “quick-fix,” and they don’t have patience with themselves. We live in an instant gratification society and people want change now. Recovery is a process, not an event. If you’ve been a certain way or have had an addiction for a long time, it will take time and effort to transform. With willingness, commitment, self-discipline and support I’ve seen the worst situations heal and dissolve and where miracles were necessary, created.

The good news is, if you learned a negative pattern – you can relearn another way, for the more effective one that enhances your life.


So far, my oldest client was 85 years young and the youngest was 15. You too can do it! It’s never too late (or early) to liberate yourself and set yourself free!


When someone doesn’t keep their word to themselves, they continually erode their self-esteem, self-reliance and self-trust. Then the cycle of self-abuse and numbing-out starts again. That’s why a success and accountability partner is vital.


  • The Way to Fill the Inner-Void that Feels Insatiable …


… Is to create an inner-sanctuary – a place to call home.


The better way to fulfill the need is to explore and dive deep into what thoughts are driving the behavior creating a hostile inner-territory. Lovingly nurture and comfort that aspect of yourself that thinks those things and heal with your own loving words, what I call Verbal Soul Food ™.


Of utmost importance in healing and recovering from any addiction is learning to treat yourself with loving self-respect and honor. Everyone has a wise part of him/herself (the one who brought you here today). It’s about remembering, getting to know and cultivating a relationship with this part of you and living from this home base. It’s about knowing you’re a valuable and worthwhile human being who deserves goodness and a rich life that is always unfolding.


Self-nurturing creates sustained change and results. When the problem hasn’t truly been resolved within you, you could switch addictions. For example, you may not drink anymore, but you’re a workaholic. You may not eat when you’re stressed, but instead you rage, are sad and avoid your feelings like the plague.


  • The Mastery of Addiction …


The person who experiences addiction needs to have a willingness and commitment to daily self-discipline. I highly recommend investing time, energy and positive focus on implementing specifically designed, life-enhancing skills – that are practical and relate to you.


When there’s a fork in the road and you have a choice-point of going into an addictive pattern, what will make a difference is an anchor that has a deep meaning to you. In other words, that anchor needs to have a bigger pay-off than the destructive one. A strong intention and goal will help you move you to the high road instead.


Embracing all parts of yourself, including one ones you may not like, is integral to whole-hearted and well-balanced living. Why? When you’re constantly fighting with and avoiding what you don’t want to look at, that aspect gets pushed down, gets bigger and eventually fights back. Your shadow gets bigger, louder and more pervasive in your life. You can’t change or learn to manage what you don’t like or don’t want to see. Denial is a very powerful force.


What does transformation take? What’s the ‘magic pill’ that most people are searching for? It comes down to one thing, the practice, practice, practice of self-awareness, honesty, self-discipline, willingness, higher-consciousness, patience, loving and acceptance of yourself. Instead of giving in to the power of the addiction, use that power to stop and redirect that energy into what you intend to create.


Of course, I don’t recommend doing any of this alone. It’s very difficult to grow alone in a vacuum. Ask for and receive professional support.


Do you want to take charge of your life and create your own reality?


I can assist you, in a compassionate, empowering :45 transformational, confidential conversation – My gift to you for being a subscriber.


Simply email @ me: joeleneselfmastery@gmail.com


All the suffering, stress, and addiction comes from not realizing you already are what you are looking for. * Jon Kabat-Zinn